I wish that counsellors and therapists would learn to understand that ‘ranting’ is a trauma response, not healthy emoting.
Save for the first couple of times when it’s useful to highlight, ranting is not something to idly sit by and watch. Nor should it be confused with ‘aggression’. Leaving your client to rant will leave them feeling drained, dysregulated, confused, and worse off.
That’s my take as someone who trained as a psychodynamic counsellor, despite my autism, and worked with thousands of adults and children.
Yesterday I ‘sacked’ my therapist for sitting passive and not intervening. Particularly since CBT was a specialism of his. It had started so well, but sixteen weeks in I noticed my increasing frustration towards an increasingly passive, almost helpless, therapist. The last few weeks I was feeling much worse during and after therapy.
So I raised it in the session.
Indirectly at first, “Did you see the last season on Couples Therapy? One of the couples left unexpectedly; the therapist admitted in supervision her treatment was making their condition worse”.
Later I was more direct. “I’m not sure endlessly talking about the lawsuit is helping me. I can’t change anything, you know how badly it’s making me feel, you seem quiet and disengaged, and hoping I’ve found a new hobby between sessions is not helpful”.
There was a no response. Not a real one of any substance.
HCPC registered counselling psychologist, private practice after 30 years in the NHS, expert in neurodiversity. Watching me become more and more dysregulated in sessions. I lived that experience weekly, pre-diagnosis, during mandated counselling training. No more, thank you very much.
Research is now clearly starting to show that overly talking is re-traumatising for many ND folk. Same with some forms of meditation.
So I sacked him, ten minutes after the session. To focus instead on practical daily management strategies. Journaling, good food, company, exercise, TV. Writing, drawing, laughing.
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